I’m Kinda Not Doing So Well…
Hey, so, remember that new job I mentioned in my last update post? The one where I was serving as a dishwasher at a local bistro? Yeah, it turns out I only lasted about six weeks there.
I wasn’t fired. It was more a case of me low-key suffering a mental breakdown as a result of the stress involved in the job, to the point where I was literally throwing up due to the anxiety I was feeling. I don’t know what exactly it was about the job that provoked such a reaction. Maybe it was the stakes involved, like the fear that a customer would go to the hospital or die from some horrible case of food poisoning if I screwed up. Maybe it was that the job was moving too fast for my autistic brain to keep up. Perhaps my brain was rebelling against me contributing my labor to an economy that I know is hurting far more people than it’s helping. Whatever it was, it was clear that I had to leave before I suffered an even worse crisis.
Longtime watchers of this blog will know that I have discussed feelings of depression, loneliness, and isolation that have been building over the last few years (my article about the Springsteen song “Dancing in the Dark” is probably the frankest I’ve been about such struggles). I probably should have sought help for these issues much sooner than I did. Mom and I decided to look for mental health services that accept Medicaid, and we ended up settling on an online service called Aptihealth. I completed a consultation via video chat early last week, and now I’m waiting for them to assign me a specialist who’s specifically suited to dealing with my particular cocktail of mental health struggles. I’m a bit apprehensive about committing myself to an online therapy service, as I’ve heard that they can be a bit of a crapshoot (Betterhelp being one of the more infamous examples). But I guess I won’t know for sure unless I try it (or, who knows, maybe Elon Musk or Russell Voght will kick me off Medicaid before I get a chance to try). I do know one thing, though; I’m probably no good to any workspace that would have me unless I get these issues sorted out.
On the bright side, my quest to obtain a new state-issued ID, and by extension, a driver’s license, is progressing well. Funny story: A few weeks ago, Dad drove me to my local county government office to apply for a new passport, based on the belief that the only passport I had expired in 2013. Yesterday, however, I got a letter from the US State Department informing me that I had applied for one in 2019. Lo and behold, I found one in my parents’ lockbox that is valid until 2029. I have no memory of obtaining this more recent passport, but if it gets me closer to getting street legal again, I’m not complaining. That would certainly help matters if I knew I had the option of not being stuck with my Trump-supporting parents for the rest of my life.
So, that’s where my life is at right now. I’ll continue with my regularly scheduled blog posts as best I can in the meantime. The “Cryptids of North America” entry on West Virginia will be out sometime later this month, so stay tuned for that. It’s the state that gave us Mothman, the Flatwoods Monster, and the Grafton Monster, so it’s gonna be a fun one.
